


Not Alone

by Miss_Lv



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Bonding Sex, First Time, Knotting, M/M, Public Sex, Soulmates, Virginity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-08
Updated: 2011-09-08
Packaged: 2017-11-13 19:14:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/506788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Lv/pseuds/Miss_Lv
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone has a mate and during his or her prime years instinct helped them seek them out. Jensen spent his years searching lazily at first but by then end desperate. Now he's nearly thirty and about to be legally proclaimed 'Widowed Before Mating' Because after nearly fifteen years of hunting for his mate without success, it's clear that he or she has died. Jensen doesn't want to be bitter about it he just wants his mate, because somewhere in him, he knows he is still out there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Alone

 

“Three more months,” Jensen hissed out, idly spinning an empty shot glass around.

“Three fucking months,” he repeated, glaring at the few stray drops of amber liquid sloshing at the bottom of the little glass.

“Jesus, man! It’s not like it really means anything, it’s just another birthday,” Christian offered and managed not to wince under the sheer intensity of the glare Jensen gave him.

“You know what it means,” he accused his friend and without looking at the bartender he pushed the glass forward for another round.

“Fine. It sucks, I get that Jen, but bitching and getting drunk about it won’t make it go away,” Chris shot back, tone tired and Jensen felt some guilt stir up in him. It wasn’t his friend’s fault and Jensen shouldn’t be ruining what could have been a good night for him with his whining.

“Let's do something, hop on a plane and do a world tour, see if your internal radar goes off or something.” Most people thought Jensen was a lost cause but Christian understood him. His friends and family all had varying opinions but only a few of them really believed Jensen like Christian did. Jensen knew his mate was out there somewhere; that he wasn’t one of those unfortunate people who had to live without knowing their other half. Whenever someone died young without finding their mate, everyone mourned for two. For the life lost and the other one somewhere in the world doomed to never know the fulfillment of meeting their true companion.  

Soul mate, kindred spirit, true love, heart’s desire; every single living person was born with a mate somewhere in the world, one person biologically, and if you believed, spiritually meant for them. When puberty came the urge to travel followed, something inside each person pulling like a magnet to where his or her mate was. When Jensen was eighteen he decided to go to college first, figured his mate would still be there in a couple of years. After he graduated he traveled, looked for the man he was meant for. Jensen knew by the way he preferred males that his mate was just that. But after a unsuccessful year of searching, school loans needed to be paid so he started writing and editing, temporary jobs here and there to support himself as he moved around, tried to use his ‘internal compass’ or whatever to find him.  For a long time he wanted to be in Texas, then suddenly up north, after that California. Jensen went where his gut told him but he didn’t find anything, no one who sparked the slightest interest. In his early twenties he’d been lax about it, focused on his writing career and becoming a successful author. By twenty-five though, it started gnawing at him; no one near his age was without their mate, it made him stand out, made him feel alone. Each year that slipped past made the ache in Jensen heavier, like another weight was added. Some mornings he would lay awake, wondering if getting out of bed was something he wanted to do, or if he just wanted to lay there and waste away. Those were the times when he doubted, when he considered that maybe his mate really was dead. But something in him pulled, Jensen didn’t know where it wanted him to go anymore, he tried to follow it but always second guessed, nowhere ever felt right, but it still pulled, someone was there on the other end, he was absolutely sure of that.

He just had to find him.

“Me and you, we’ll hit every major city, post your picture and put out some wanted ads,” Christian went on about a impromptu road trip, gesturing with his hands and Jensen rolled his eyes before he took his shot.

“Already a step ahead of you, I’m doing book signings all summer. Every freaking city and town too. If there’s a bookstore, I’m there,” he explained and Christian nodded his head, plenty eager with the idea that was mainly Jensen being desperate and pathetic.

“Do it man! Every little hick town clear across America, then Canada, Mexico, then over the big blue, you’ll find him Jen, I know it,” his friend assured him, sounding far more enthusiastic than Jensen felt, but at this point what did he have to lose?

 

 

“Do we have to?” Chad whined with a pained expression like he'd just found out he had to go get his teeth pulled or something.

“You don’t have to do anything,” Genevieve shot back, tone annoyed as she hefted her backpack higher on her shoulder. Jared didn’t reply himself but he shot his best friend a silent pleading look.

“Whatever, like I’m going to miss Jared fan-girling all over the guy, black mail material for life,” he said with a grin that told Jared he owed him. It wasn’t that Jared didn’t like Genevieve, they actually got along great and when they all hung out there wasn’t a problem. But whenever it was just the two of them she’d get all coy and Jared had no clue how to gently rebuff her. He was only sixteen but he already knew without a doubt he was as gay as they came, no pussy for him thank you. But knowing it and saying it were two different things. Chad was the only one who knew so far but Jared was working up the nerve to tell his parents. They’d accept him, but it was still going to be a painfully awkward conversation. But anyway, Jared wasn’t ready to be totally out and while Genevieve was awesome, she was a bit of a gossip.

“Sandy’s gonna come too,” he added, remembering the brunette girl suddenly as he checked his watch. “I gotta go with her, like, ten minutes ago, to go get a copy of his latest book,” Jared waved to his friends quickly before he rushed off to meet the girl, a little breathless by the time he reached their meeting point.

“You’re late,” she greeted and he waved his hand dismissively. “I always am, it’s part of my charm,” he assured her with a full on grin and the brunette rolled her eyes but started walking and Jared fell in step.

“If you have to buy the books, why go to a book signing?” he inquired and Sandy shrugged, kicking at the ground lightly.

“The novelty more than anything, plus if I’m gonna have the books why not have signed copies?” The way she sort of looked away and blushed a tiny bit made Jared wince and he really, really hoped she wasn’t developing a crush on him because that would just suck on all sorts of levels.    

“Do you even know what the books are about?”

“Ghost hunters?”

“Ah come on, it’s way more then that,” Jared complained and immediately launched into a full depth explanation of the awesomeness that was the Supernatural series. It wasn’t until they got to the bookstore that he realized he was talking Sandy’s ear off and he managed to shut up. People often complained about him going on and on about his maybe-a-little-obsession with Jensen Ackles' writing.

“You really like them, huh?” Sandy teased as she idly examined the covers of the long row of a series, fourteen books in and still going strong. They were well stocked right now since the author was going to be in San Antonio soon.

“I do, I like the whole paranormal theme and I dunno, they’re cool,” Jared explained, shrugging as he tugged the latest book from the shelf, idly inspecting it like he hadn’t preordered it months in advance and waited in a line outside the store to get it the morning it was out. He wasn’t the type who got obsessed with things, but these books… it wasn’t something that made sense but Jared didn’t worry much about it.

“Wow, he’s hot,” Sandy suddenly giggled and Jared glanced over at her, knowing instantly who she meant when he saw she was looking at the last page in the book.

Jensen Ackles was extremely good looking, handsome in the way that was kinda pretty and Jared had his fair shared of dirty thoughts about the guy, maybe a little more then he should have if he was honest. Even though all the photos of him were always modest and tame, Jared had a good collection on his laptop and they remained his prime jerk off material despite the internet and its endless porn of every variety. Sometimes he figured his mate must look like him or something, because it was kinda unreal how much the man turned Jared on. 

 

 

Remember when Jensen mentioned those days when he just laid in bed? This was one of them. Lying there in the rumpled sheets he frowned at the blurry ceiling and wiped a stray tear with distaste, he hated it when the ache was bad enough to make him cry. The clock was warning him that he was going to be late but Jensen couldn’t muster up anything to give a damn. He was only two weeks into the book signings, he still had months to go and he was already done with it. He was a writer, not a social butterfly and hell if having to make nice with strangers every day wasn’t wearing him down. Jensen liked his privacy, he knew being a well-known novelist required having people know him better then he would have liked, but fuck, some of these hardcore fans were creepy as shit. But it wasn’t even sitting on his ass and writing his name eight hours a day that was sucking his will to live. It was the emptiness again, that black fucking pit that he had no way to climb out of. Jensen was only a few months away from his thirtieth birthday. When the marker passed the government would legally proclaim him ‘Widowed Before Mating’. Jensen knew his mate was out there, but having the government officially tell him that no, he wasn’t, was a hard blow to take.

The footsteps outside his room made him grimace and like a five year old he pulled the blankets up over his head and rolled away from the door to hide his red eyes.

“Go away,” he yelled out before she even knocked and he could _feel_ her frowning at him through the door.   

“Get your ass up Ackles, I’m not a freaking babysitter,” Danneel shouted back and banged his door for good measure. Jensen frowned under the blanket, wished he still had hours to curl up and sleep until the melancholy and ache faded enough for him to function.

“Let’s call today off, I’m not up for this right now,” he finally replied, rubbing at his eyes to clear any tears before he dropped the blanket away and rolled to face the door as she pushed it open. “Today’s shit.”

“How very optimistic of you,” she replied but her tone lacked heat as she leaned her petite body against the doorframe. “I know you have your lulls, and I can’t imagine what its like for you,” she hesitated, clearly trying to tip toe around that fact that he didn’t have a mate, “but it’s nearly eight and the book store opens at nine, some of those people have been there since six. That’s not fair.”

It wasn’t and Jensen wished he could be more of an asshole about it.

“I’ll cancel tomorrow and you can curl up and wallow all you please, but for today you have to pick your balls up and get through the day, babe,” Danneel told him and he gave a groan but didn’t protest at her words.

When he stumbled into the kitchen a short time later, he gave her a dirty look as she smiled at him brightly. “This is why your publisher hired me, to keep your ass in line,” she teased and he gave her another glare as he poured himself some delicious coffee.

“They hired you because I said I needed an assistant to help me and I knew this awesome girl who would be perfect for it,’ he grumbled back but his childhood friend just gave a shrug and grin in turn.   

“Why do you even own a place here?” Danneel asked him suddenly, looking out over the cityscape through the floor to ceiling windows along the one side of the kitchen/living room area.

“I got it a long time ago, right after I graduated, stayed here for a couple of years before moving and I just liked the place. I always meant to end up back here some day,” he admitted, looking over at the city as well while he sipped his caffeine.

“You think she’s out there?”

“He, and who knows.”

“The reason you haven’t found her yet it because you’re looking for the wrong gender,” his friend taunted lightly, always made jokes along the same line, that Jensen’s mate was actually a female. He didn’t bother getting upset with the teasing anymore, it covered the fact that Danneel was one of the people who thought his mate was dead. The light mood he had begun to feel curled up and died as he threw back the last of his coffee and went to get ready, the painful weight back in his chest.

 

 

“This is soooooo boring,” Chad stated for the eighth or ninth time in the last hour, bouncing in place as they stood in line. Jared didn’t bother acknowledging the whining since it would only encourage him. Jensen Ackles had come in late and they were trying to get everyone though quickly to make up for it.

Jared would have been closer to the front if Chad hadn’t dragged his feet this morning but still insisted on coming and then Sandy couldn’t find the right shoes she wanted or something. Genevieve had turned on him too when she agreed with the other two about stopping at McDonalds for breakfast even though someone could have done a food run once they were actually _in the damn line_. In the end they arrived beyond late and for it, nearly at the end of the God damned line. This was probably the only chance Jared was going to have to ogle Jensen Ackles in the flesh and if he missed out because the line didn’t move fast enough and he wasn’t far enough ahead then he was going to kick someone. Or pout, some hardcore pouting until all three of his friends saw the error of their ways and agreed with him that they should never again come to anything with him that involved a line.

Sandy and Genevieve both had their phones to amuse them and Chad had his earlier but because he was Chad, he didn’t charge the thing so it died. Jared didn’t have any games on his phone so Chad had turned his nose up at it.

“You know if you’re so bored you can leave,” Jared pointed out and his friend shook his head with a grin, holding up the latest Supernatural book.

“Promised the hot red head in bio class I’d get her a signature,” he explained and wiggled his eyebrows.

“You would,” Jared replied with a rueful shake of his head, knowing full well that if his friend thought he could get pussy he’d go for it with far more gusto then anything he gave to his grades.

“Don’t you ever worry?” He asked abruptly and then quickly elaborated, “About your mate, you being a player and all.”

“Nah man, when I meet her it’ll be different but until then it’s free game,” Chad justified with a shrug and Jared was careful not to frown outright, everyone had a right to their own opinion. It reminded him of Dean, a character in the Supernatural books, who ran around and slept with any and everyone willing. Jared supposed he was more like Sam, the guy who waited around for his mate throughout his teen years and then mourned her deeply when a demon killed her. Although he knew nothing about the man he’d meet one day, Jared was fiercely loyal to him already.

“You’re all about saving it, huh? Waiting until marriage and all that?” Sandy asked him curiously and Jared felt his face flush as both girls gave him their attention and Chad just grinned and left him hanging.

“No, I just, I dunno. I’m not all intense, a virgin into my twenties because I haven’t met my mate yet, but I just figure I’ll meet them before that I guess,” he hedged, carefully avoiding gender specific pronouns as he tried to explain. Jared sometimes wondered if he felt the pull stronger than others. Some mornings his chest just burned with an ache and he curled up and cried for no reason, it was kinda mortifying since he’d never heard of anyone else doing that. Even this morning he’d felt it but managed to shake it off in favor of meeting his favorite author.

“I heard in some of the crazy hardcore religions they don’t even let mated pairs get it on until after their married and everything, they make them wait,” Genevieve offered up and Jared frowned because it didn’t make sense.

“How can you make them wait?” he asked and Sandy nodded her head to his question.

“Yeah, when mates meet it’s all lightning and crazy lust and shit,” Chad added. “I’ve seen pairs before too, going at it in public cause no one had enough sense to tell them to go somewhere private fast enough.”

When mates met for the first time, a biological need to consummate their union hit them hard and all consuming, Jared had heard plenty of stories himself about people losing it in public. It was a rough lust that couldn’t be denied, mates would beat the crap out of their own mother if she dared try to separate them.

“I saw a couple once,” he offered hesitantly, recalling the scene a year or so back. “But they might have just been knotted,” he added and Chad grinned all sleazy while Sandy curled her dainty nose and Genevieve laughed.  

“Voyeur,” Chad teased and Jared rolled his eyes, smile pulling at his mouth as everyone laughed.

“I heard that this guy, Jensen Ackles, is a w.i.b,” Jared winced as Sandy said it, not liking the term even though it was just a funny sounding word. In Jared's opinion, Widowed Before Mating was a fate worse than death; nothing sounded worse than never meeting your one true love.   

“That must suck so hard,” Chad muttered, voice uncharacteristically somber as Sandy and Genevieve nodded quietly.

“He says he’s not you know,” Jared said before he could stop himself. “He believes his mate is out there, that’s why he’s doing the book signing thing, all over the US to try and find him,” he elaborated, knowing he sounded like a total nerd who knew way too much but unable to not defend him.

“Him?” Sandy asked her voice holding the tiniest bit of disapproval and Chad gave her a nasty look for it while Jared just felt disheartened.

“Whatever, figures he’d be for guys, he’s way too smoking to be straight,” Genevieve sighed, craning her neck to look and Jared blinked and looked up, realizing that they could now see him. Jensen Ackles was seated at a table, books piled around him as he bent his head to write something in one. Jared watched him look up, a tried smile as he handed the book to whoever was at the front of the line. As Jared suspect, he was far hotter in real life. But even the gorgeous features couldn’t hide how worn he looked. Like life had beat down on him hard or something, it made Jared’s stomach drop and for some reason, the fact that his favorite author looked so down made Jared himself feel like shit.

 

 

Six hours in and there were still people waiting. On another day Jensen would have been flattered, it was a _huge_ turnout after all. But that burning in his chest was still present, still reminding him gleefully that he was alone in the world and his life sucked no matter how popular his books were.

Jensen put on his best mask though, smiled and chatted with people as he wrote his name down over and over and freaking over. He tried to give personal notes when the fan was eager and gave him enough information to think of some unique to say. Countless faces he’d never see again and a sore wrist seemed prominent today rather then genuine fans and people who loved the world he’d created. Jensen eyed the line and he knew he’d be done before it was and he felt like shit for it. Leaning back in his seat he surveyed the people waiting and was about to ask Danneel to announce he was leaving soon when he saw him. It was a tall kid, young and fresh faced, giving him a worried look, like Jensen was a friend hacking up a lung or drowning his sorrows and the kid just wanted to comfort him or something. Jensen frowned at his own thoughts and wondered when his metaphors got so bad.

Their eyes locked and the kid smiled, like a 100 watt bulb, bright and innocent and fuck if it didn’t pick Jensen's spirits up off the floor. He returned the smile with a grin and nod and the boy ducked his head, face turning bright red and adorable.    

“We’re going to have to wrap up soon, this store closes in bit and they want to clean up yet,” Danneel told him as she came to his side, dropping a bottle of cold water beside his arm.

“In a bit, the lines nearly done so lets finish,” Jensen replied, trying not to watch the kid eye Danneel like she was harbinger of doom. Clearly he expected her to say the signing was over and Jensen caught his relieved look when she just walked off without announcing anything.

Jensen smiled up at the lady next in line and suddenly wanted to hurry up and get to the boy. With as many kind but quick pleasantries as possible, Jensen signed each book with a speedy hand. His bad mood had lifted and Jensen felt his knee bounce under the table as he glanced down the line and saw the kid only a few people away now. He stood among a circle of teenagers, talking with them and trying not to openly stare at Jensen. For some reason it amused him and Jensen felt a smile pull at his mouth as he signed his name with a bit more of a flourish then usual.

“Are you a big fan?” Jensen asked without meaning to, his gaze on the teen and not the couple in front of him. The boy flushed again and nodded his head, the other boy, a blond kid with a look of trouble about him, snickered.

“Dude, you pre-order these things, you’re a total nerd over those books,” he taunted and Jensen felt a little irritated with the punk but his tone lacked any real menace so that counted for something, he supposed.

 “Half the point in reading a series is to find out what happens next, it’s all about getting your hands on the next book,” Jensen defended while he gave the couple their books and smiled up at them in apology for kind of ignoring them. The teenage quartet approached, the two girls and the punk all with a book under arm while the tall boy had a shoulder bag and a tentative look. 

“We all love your stuff,” the dark haired girl smiled, offering her book for Jensen to take. He put it on the table and leaned back in the seat, stretching his sore muscles and taking a drink from the water bottle, aware that the tall boy was watching him with a less than innocent edge.

“What’s your favorite book?” He asked and managed to tear his gaze from the boy to give the girl a brief smile.

“I think the latest ones are the best, the whole angels and demons thing is awesome, Jared liked the earlier ones better though,” she told him but shot the cute boy a soft smile. From the way the kid shifted with a blanched look, Jensen knew right away the girl had no clue she was barking up the wrong tree.

Jared. It fit the boy, he looked like a Jared, Jensen thought. He was tall, really freaking tall and had a ridiculously adorable mop of hair.

“I-I like all the books just fine, I just miss the old Sam, he’s a lot darker in the later ones, everyone is really, worn down and it’s kinda depressing,” the boy finally said, watching Jensen write his name and then take the blond girl’s book.

“Yeah, my publisher’s accused me of projecting on my characters and I’ve been threatened about having the series end on a dark note,”

“You’re not going to are you? I mean Sam and Dean aren’t going to die for good or anything?” Jared looked horrified with the idea and Jensen could help but grin up him, making the boy flush all over again.

“Nah, but it’s fun to mess with the publishers,” he admitted and, from the corner of his eye, caught Danneel staring at him like he’d gone crazy. Spoilers for the books were strictly forbidden but Jensen couldn’t summon up any remorse when Jared looked so relieved.

The punk gave up his book with a raised brow, looking back between Jensen and Jared with a curious look and Jensen realized he was flirting. With a _teenage boy_. Jesus, get a grip on yourself he thought but the happy bubble in his chest refused to deflate.

“I like Castiel, he’s such an innocently badass character, he kinda reminds me of how Sam used to be in some ways,” Jared offered up sincerely and Jensen nodded in agreement, handing the other boy his book and waiting for Jared as he fumbled to pull out his. Jensen watched him frown between two books, the first and the latest, both with broken in spines and obviously well read. 

 “Dude you brought them all, ask him to sign them all,” the punk said, nudging Jared with his elbow and Jensen felt the kid go up in his opinion as it gave Jensen more time to chat with a genuine fan.

“I’m sorry but we don’t have time to-” Danneel jumped in, coming up to stop Jared as he opened his mouth to ask. Jensen didn’t feel remotely bad for cutting her off with a wave of his hand.

“It’s fine, I can sign them all,” he said over her and Jared’s sunny smile was worth her frown; the kid had dimples, adorable freaking dimples. Someone behind the group made an impatient noise and Jensen didn’t hesitate to give him a dark look, surprising himself with how much it irritated him that someone was trying to ruin the moment for Jared. The teen looked a little embarrassed by it but he still pulled out all the books and Jensen still intended to sign every one and take his sweet time doing it.

Jared took out the last six at once, barely keeping a hold on them and Jensen didn’t hesitate to reach out and help him, his fingers resting over the teenagers as they put the books on the table. Jared jumped a little at the touch and the flush on his face went to the tips of his ears and down his neck. Jensen took his hands back slowly, fingers dragging over the tips of Jared’s and for some reason he absolutely did not want to stop touching him. One of the girls made a surprised little sound and the moment broke; Jared straightening up, bright crimson red.

While Jensen didn’t feel particularly warm, the moment his lost contact with Jared he felt colder for it. Without thinking about it, his leg stretched out until it collided lightly with Jared’s sneaker, it wasn’t skin on skin but it made Jensen feel better and he could see the way Jared visibly relaxed.

Jensen grabbed one of the books at random and picked up his pen, trying to think of something to say to the boy as Jared fidgeted silently. Jensen glanced up and frowned when he saw the mortified expression on the teenager’s face. Before Jensen could ask him if he was alright, he realized the Jared was holding his shoulder bag in front of him, over his crotch.

Oh.

Jensen blinked, somehow taken aback even as he felt his own cock twitch in interest, which okay, highly inappropriate. Jensen absently pressed his foot firmer to Jared’s own and realized that it wasn’t enough for him, he wanted to touch him again. The teenager looked at him through his messy bangs and Jensen gazed back, trying to fight the urge to reach out and take the kid’s hand.

“Jensen?” The soft voice made him start and he realized he was sitting there like an idiot with his pen poised to write but not moving. Danneel was beside him, her hand resting on his shoulder as she looked at him all anxiously and Jensen realized everyone was watching him. He opened his mouth to say something but his gaze jumped back to Jared and the boy was glaring with the nastiest expression ever, eyes locked on Danneel’s hand on Jensen’s shoulder. His boy was a possessive little thing, it seemed, and Jensen realized it then; like a slap on the face and holy fucking hell, _his boy_ , his.

“Are you okay?” One of the teenage girls asked Jared, and the boy jerked, eyes going wide as he swung to look at her and suddenly seemed to remember he was standing in a crowded book store with a raging hard on behind his shoulder bag. Jensen saw the horrified humiliation flash on his face before the boy shoved passed his friends and pretty much ran for the cover of the bookshelves, his friends hot on his trail.

“Ok, have you gone totally nuts?” Danneel snapped, leaning over to whisper furiously in his ear. “The store is waiting on you to finish up so they can close and there are still nineteen people waiting, watching you flirt with a high school kid,” she hissed and Jensen tried to get his mouth to fucking work to answer her but he couldn’t tear his gaze away from where Jared disappeared and something like panic was building in him because what if the kid left the store? Jensen had no way to find him and he’d never see Jared again and that just wasn’t going to happen.

“Excuse me,” he told everyone around him and pushed his chair back, following Jared and his trio.

 

“Oh god, please make this stop,” Jared whispered his knees pushed to his chest as he sat on the floor, clutched his shoulder bag to his chest and tried to hide his face, fingers trembling and tears threatening to spill over.

“Jared, are you okay?” Genevieve asked and he wanted to laugh because no he was not okay, what part of him looked okay?

“Fuck, it’s just an inappropriate boner Jay, I’ve had ‘em in worst places,” Chad tried to reassure him and Genevieve frowned up at him, clearly not getting it while Sandy just watched him with a weirdly knowing look.

“Jared?” she called her voice soft and worried as he looked up at her, digging his fingers into his shoulder bag until it hurt because Jared didn’t know what was happening but it was intense and scaring the hell out of him.

“Do you feel cold?” the question made Chad and Genevieve frown up at her but Jared just nodded his head because he was freezing.

“He’s freaking out and you're worried he needs a coat?” Chad said with incredulity and Sandy spared him a rude look.

“I read somewhere that feeling cold is a sign of withdrawal,” she explain, a touch of a blush on her face as she fidgeted.

“Are you saying Jared’s on drugs?” Genevieve inquired with confused irritation but Jared got it, he got it right away because right then and there he wanted nothing more than to go back, to see him again, he _needed_ to.

“The way you two reacted to each other…” Sandy hedged tentatively and then trailed off as she saw something behind Jared, her eyes going wide. Jared looked over his shoulder and watched Jensen approach them, eyes locked on Jared, as God help him, Jared whimpered and his erection throbbed painfully in his jeans.

Genevieve got out of the way when the older man knelt in front of Jared and cupped his face, making him look up at him. The warmth of his hands were like someone spilling water over a fire burning on Jared, it was utterly soothing and when his tears fell it was from pure relief.

“Shhh. It’s okay, Jared, don’t cry baby,” Jensen whispered, his thumb rubbing tears away from under Jared’s eye while his low gravelly tone made Jared’s cock twitch. The man leaned in close, touched his head to Jared’s and made nonsense sounds, pulling Jared into his lap and the teenager gave up his death hold of his shoulder bag so he could press himself to Jensen and hide against him, tremors still working through him. He whimpered and pressed his nose to Jensen's neck, breathed in the musky smell of aftershave. Jensen wound his arms tightly over Jared’s middle, kept him close and rocked him while Jared tried to stop crying but he couldn’t because he was happy, he was so unbelievably happy.

“You gonna be okay?” Jensen asked voice light, teasing almost and Jared gave him a watery smile, pulling away to look at him. He couldn’t help but let his gaze go to Jensen’s mouth, his full lush lips that Jared had jerked off thinking about more then once.

The older man pressed a warm, brief kiss to Jared’s forehead. The second he left on Jared’s wet cheek and the third on the corner of his mouth, each kiss growing more hurried and urgent. Finally he pushed his mouth to Jared’s and the boy surged up, pressed back frantically, as everything was suddenly desperate. Blindly his hand found the edge of the unbuttoned long sleeve shirt Jensen had on and he pushed it back, down Jensen's arm, wanted it off, wanted all the clothing between them gone already, wanted Jensen to touch him all over, to bury himself inside Jared.

“Knot me,” he pleaded against Jensen’s mouth, fumbling to straddle the man’s hips, to rock their groins together urgently.

“ _Jesus Christ_ , time to go!” Chad exclaimed from somewhere and Jared could hear footsteps but he didn’t care, it didn’t matter at all.

Jensen grabbed at Jared, groped him all over, cupped his ass and gave it a good squeeze. The older man suddenly lurched to his knees and dragged Jared with him, lifted him up while the teenager wrapped his legs around Jensen’s middle.

“Please, please, I need it, I need you, love you, love you so much,” Jared babbled, tears still dripping because he meant it; meant it so utterly, he loved him, loved him with everything he had and all Jared needed was this man to be happy, to be glorious.

Jensen gave something between a groan and growl and Jared shivered in return. The man shoved him against the end of the bookshelf, a solid thump that Jared didn’t mind at all, distantly he heard books hit the floor and people talking somewhere but it wasn’t important right then, all that mattered was Jensen’s wicked mouth on his, kissing him, pushing his lips open and his tongue snaking deep, licking the inside of Jared mouth roughly, taking claiming and yes, yes, yes Jared wanted it, wanted it all.

 

In the back of his head Jensen knew he was about to fuck and knot the teenage boy in the middle of a store, he just didn’t care. Breaking off the desperate kiss he went for Jared’s neck, licked and sucked hungrily. Jared was pushing at his shirt insistently but Jensen ignored him in favor of getting the younger man’s jeans undone. They were both hard, Jensen painfully so with the undeniable urge to bury himself inside his mate. Jensen managed to pull back enough to see Jared’s pants and undo the button and zipper properly, trying to get them down. From somewhere down the aisle, a little clicking sound told him someone just took a photo but fuck if he gave a damn. Jared was making little breathy sounds and they were going right to Jensen’s dick, a hurried chant of ‘faster’ spinning through his head.

When the teenager pushed at him, trying to wiggle away from him, Jensen let out a nasty sound, shoving Jared hard into the book shelf, making books rain down around them as Jensen gripped Jared’s hips in a biting hold, letting him know this was happening and he wasn’t going _anywhere_.

“No, wasn’t…” Jared panted and the sound of his voice only made Jensen more desperate to be in him. “Let me, on the floor, on my stomach, you can-” Jensen got the picture as soon as it was said and before Jared could finish talking he was jerking them from the shelf, letting Jared’s legs slide off his hips so he could flip the teenager over, shoving books out of the way so Jared could lay on the floor obediently. Once Jensen got Jared’s jeans down to his thighs he slid over him. His cock was aching and Jensen couldn’t wait, he dragged his erection over the curve of Jared’s ass and they both hissed out, even with Jensen’s pants still separating them. Jared dropped his head to the floor, his hands clutching at the carpet that’s too short to give him anything to hold on to. Keeping Jared flush under him Jensen went down on his elbows and knees so he could press his forearm against the teenager’s and their fingers entwined.

“So good baby, it’s okay, gonna be fine,” he managed to mutter into Jared’s hair while his free hand fumbled to get his slacks open, rushing to get free so he could be inside his mate, so they could be together.

Once his dick was out, he pressed against Jared again, looking for his hole and the boy moaned; loud and long as he lifted his hips and rubbed his ass against Jensen’s groin. Without consent, his own hips jerked in answer, thrusting blindly with his dick trapped in the cleft of Jared’s ass cheeks. Hissing out, Jensen dropped his head to Jared’s slender shoulder and just grinded himself, rocking back and forth while the skin on skin contact proceeded to blow his mind. It was better then anything he had ever had, more exciting then any blow job he ever got, more satisfying just to rub up against Jared then the best fuck he’d ever had before.

“Hold still for me,” he whispered urgently into Jared’s ear, squeezing their hands tightly and waiting for a shaky nod before he moved back a touch. From the way Jared twitched he could tell the teenager was resisting the need to follow him, to shove back and keep the contact. Murmuring praises to him, Jensen shoved his hand back between them and grabbed his cock, ignoring the trembling of his hand as he lined up again, rubbing the head of his dick along the Jared’s hole and swearing hard when he felt the wet heat. Jared was wet and it short circuited Jensen’s mind because it meant his mate was a _breeder_.  Jared could have kids, Jensen’s kids.

“Oh God, fuck. You’re soaked for me, dripping and ready. Fuck, you’re a breeder Jay? Gonna give me a family?” Jensen asked and got a whimper and nod from his mate. Jared was squirming under him, pressing his ass up and when Jensen got the head of his cock back in place, pressed against the wet warmth of Jared’s hole, it was the teenager who shoved back, impaling himself while they both groaned. Jensen meant to go slow and ease in but Jared was having none of it, he pushed back without any let up, a hard lunge backwards with a pained hiss until Jensen was completely inside him.

“So- so much,” Jared managed to breath and Jensen chuckled against his neck, his chest butted up snuggly to the boy’s back. “First time?” Jensen inquired, not wanting to really know but unable to not ask. It was worth the risk though when Jared nodded his head, admitting he was untouched, a virgin for Jensen.

“ _Fuck_ , good boy, did you wait for me? Keep your thighs closed ‘till I came ‘round?” Jared gave him another groan and nodded his head frantically, the hand that Jensen wasn’t clutching in his own reached back and grabbed at Jensen’s side, fingers digging into the edge of his shirt and pulling, urging Jensen closer. The man obliged and pushed his weight down on the teenager, pressing in as hard as he could while Jared just sighed, like the pain he had to be feeling was worth it.

Jensen eased back a bit and the teenager followed him this time, refusing to let him get away and Jensen smirked. Taking Jared’s hips in hand, he yanked back and held the boy in place. Jared whimpered when Jensen wasn’t fully buried in him but his complaints died when Jensen thrust back, using a slow rhythm as he started fucking his mate. Jared’s thighs spread as wide as they could while still trapped in his jeans and he braced himself on the floor; tilting his ass up like an invitation and Jensen grunted, adjusting his knees so he could shove with more force. He meant to go slower, meant to be kinder but Jared was encouraging him, urging him with pulls on his shirt and the breathy moans he was giving.

Jensen’s head dropped and he slumped forward to press his brow to Jared’s shoulder while he just pounded him. It was rougher then Jensen usually allowed himself, but the frantic edge couldn't be denied so he kept ramming. Jared’s head was thrown back, the boy shouting out as his entire body jerked with the force behind their fucking. The hand on Jensen’s hip lets go and then his fingers were curling around Jensen’s neck. Jared tilted his head and pressed the side of his face up against Jensen’s own. Their hands were still clenched tightly in one another and everything was rushed and frantic and fucking perfect in a way sex had never been before.

All too fast but not nearly soon enough Jensen could feel himself starting to knot. The teenager’s body was so tight already and Jensen knew it wouldn’t be long before he wouldn't be able to thrust. It made his lunges ever rougher, slamming in and rushing to pull back to do it again. Steady thrusting that made his mate moan and Jensen felt nothing but pleasure with each motion. Jared’s voice was getting louder, his own body moving, riding back just as rough and hurried as Jensen and it just made the older man hotter for it, knowing that Jared, his mate, wanted it just as bad as he did.

His knot was swelling quickly, making the thrusts slower, each time he pulled back it was harder to do so. Jared was moaning like a porn star now, fingers digging painfully in Jensen’s neck; not that Jensen minded. Then with a sudden cry Jared arched, his body going still and Jensen realized the teenager had come. Too late he reached under him and jerked Jared’s cock, the heavy member was already twitching, spurting so Jensen milked him through it. Jared answered the touch with needy little sounds, he was a noisy little bitch but Jensen didn’t mind it, he liked it when his bedmates were like that, let him know when he was doing the right thing. He figured that as his mate, Jared was made to be everything Jensen loved and vice versa.

Jensen’s hips were flush against Jared’s ass now, tightly pressed up while his knot completely inflated, locked them together. Jared was still panting, nuzzling Jensen’s face lightly while he came down from the high while Jensen rose up and he struggled to remember to keep breathing. The first hard spurts of his come splashed into Jared and with the initial release came the highest point of knotting for Jensen. He could feel the climax roaring through him and he scrambled to hold Jared close, clutching at him while everything peaked. It was better then it had ever been before, it felt right in a basic, instinctual way and Jensen understood then why mates can’t cheat on each other, because the sense of right was all-consuming. This was where he belonged, this was his place, his. Jensen must have said it out loud because Jared whispered a soft agreement and Jensen just groaned back. The come was still steadily pumping but the power of the climax faded. Jensen’s upstairs brain was still off, but the edge was gone, leaving nothing but waves of pleasure that made all the tension bleed from Jensen’s body. Weakly he slumped down and Jared went with him. They ended up on their sides, Jared pressed snugly to Jensen as he spooned the teenager and nuzzled the nape of his neck lovingly.

“Never knew it’ feel this good,” he admitted with a bit of a slur and Jared laughed, their hands are still entwined and Jensen felt the teenager tighten the grip a touch.

“The sex?” he asked, voice soft and almost shy in a way that made Jensen smile and press a kiss to his skin.

“You, finding you, feeling you, knotting you,” he elaborated and Jared made a little sound, something between surprised and happy. “Me too,” he whispered and Jensen wrapped his arms around him, still keeping their hands entwined while he pressed in close to his mate.

“Love you,” Jared murmured and Jensen knew it to be/was true in a way no one else could have ever been. Because they were mated and Jensen loved the teenager, he couldn’t wait to get to know him and he knew no matter what, he was going to always love him and vice versa.

A noise made Jensen look up, tilting his head so he could see down the aisle. Someone had pushed book displays to block the way but there were still people, openly watching, some with their phones pointed at them, _recording_ them. The lazy pleasure of their knotting abruptly died in the adrenaline rush of realization.

“For fucking sakes,” he growled before yelling out for Danneel. She answered instantly, clearly somewhere close by. Jared started against his chest, suddenly remembering where they were, Jensen figured; he grimaced and listened to the all too close voices all around them, there were people all fucking over, couldn’t anyone have given them some privacy?

“A blanket, coat, or something please?” he yelled at the disembodied voice of his assistant and after a pause, more then a few coats came from over the shelf on either side. Grabbing at a longer one, Jensen covered their waists up and then dragged a smaller one around Jared’s head, hiding him from the spectators.

“What are you-” the teenager began and Jensen cut him off unintentionally, “I’m covering you so your face isn’t all over the news,” he explained and the boy’s gaze went wide as he flushed adorably.

“Oh God, I didn’t think about that, God they all watched, saw us, saw me doing that, taking it and- I was so noisy!” Jared was clearly mortified and Jensen managed to move so he could press a soothing kiss to his brow.

“Its fine, it’s embarrassing,” he admitted because it was, “but it’s fine. Gonna be fine, Jay,” Jensen promised and the boy seemed to accept it, the wild edge in his gaze dying down even as he remained flushed red. 

“My parents are going to freak,” Jared whispered but he remained calm, head turned so he could look at Jensen.

“They didn’t even know I was gay, much less…” he trailed off and Jensen nodded his head in understanding, resting their foreheads together and giving him a light kiss.

“We’ll figure it out, I’m gonna be right there with you,” Jensen assured and couldn’t resist the urge to run the tips of his fingers through Jared’s mop of hair, the coat along his arm dipping as he did so. Jared smiled up at him, that blinding smile with his heart in his eyes and Jensen couldn’t refuse it. Kissing him, Jensen found it strange how little sexuality was in the touch. He was used to only kissing during sex, not lazy contact like this, done to show affection far more then lust. Pulling away a tiny bit he grinned down at Jared and he returned it, his one hand skimming Jensen’s cheek lightly.

 

Unbeknownst to them someone choose that moment to snap a photo and it would be the primary one shown on the modest news channels and sites later on. The more risqué ones would use their hands entwined on the floor from when they where fucking and the porn sites would happily post several different version of the entire mating.   

It was almost funny how Jensen was way more upset about it then Jared. While it was totally embarrassing and kids at high school never got tired of teasing him about it, it wasn’t like Jared regretted it or anything. For him more important moments mattered, like going home that night to face his family, Jensen dutiful at his side. Chad had already called his mama and his dad’s friend at work heard about it and told him. That upset Jensen something fierce and he wanted to know right away who had told the media Jared’s full name. Jared figured it was Genevieve and it was confirmed when she called later apologizing and swearing she didn’t realize the guy was a reporter. Although who else would have asked for the spelling of his last name, really? It wasn’t too bad though, Jared didn’t have much to hide to begin with and it was kinda interesting to be in the media for a few days. It was rare for someone with a famous name to end up mating in public; much less with some one underage, and for whatever reasons the media seemed to eat it up. Thankfully, most of them focused on the romantic aspects of it more then the huge age difference.

The law wasn’t exactly happy about it but it was mating sex so statutory rape wasn’t an option and Jared’s parents weren’t interested in anything like that. While they were really thrown by the same sex mating they weren’t mean or out to punish Jensen. The man was actually really charming to them and Jared was amused because while no one else seemed to be able to, he could totally tell when Jensen was laying it on thick. Like wise, Jensen was really aware of Jared’s moods, he knew what Jared was feeling even when he tried to hide it. But he couldn’t, not from his mate and it was both freeing and terrifying to have someone in tune with him to such an extreme level. Still Jared didn’t have a single regret about it, even with Chad endlessly mocking him.

Jared figured that their age gap was going to complicate things for them. Jensen was used to going to bars on the weekends and Jared couldn’t even legally drink yet. They were from two different generations and it made things awkward, pretty much all of Jared’s friends were single and concerned primarily about fitting in and making good grades while Jensen’s circle was mated couples with mortgages and job worries. Jensen ended up having to buy a place near Jared’s parents home before they would let him move in with him, his own mate! God, it was definitely awkward at times but Jared couldn’t care less because when he was with Jensen something in his chest was always looser and the tension his shoulders, no matter what the cause, always let up a little.       

Jared’s favorite part, though, was the mornings. Jensen said he used to wake up totally depressed and feeling bleak and Jared figured he felt him, even without knowing him, he felt Jensen’s pain and shared it. But now they’d wake up together, all entwined and snuggled in close, Jensen liked to say it was all Jared but the teenager knew Jensen was full of it, he was the one always pressing in close first. Anyway, Jared would wake up first, Jensen would sleep to noon everyday if he could, and he’d just lay there and stare at the sleeping man. It was probably a little creepy but Jared loved doing it, loved watching his mate and feeling the answering joy inside him at seeing Jensen. Every morning when Jensen would slowly come to the land of the living, he’d always blink over at Jared and half awake, he’d smile at him.

Jensen was a private guy, Jared didn’t mind it at all but Jensen was always really reserved and shy, apprehensive about what people thought, worried about what Jared thought. But when he was half awake the shyness wasn’t there and the reservation was still sleeping because Jensen would smile at him like Jared was the best thing ever. This quiet little thing that was completely open and warm, Jensen’s eyes crinkling all bright and loving. Jared sucked at explaining it really but it was just something so real and breathtaking that his chest always burst with bliss. He never woke up sad anymore, just woke feeling warm and wanted and awesome.

And that totally trumped the fact that Jensen was nearly twice his age and there was soft-core porn of him on the internet, moaning like a porn star.   

 

 


End file.
